Euphoria, Life of an Ice wolf
by Hailstone-of-the-dragon
Summary: This is all very sketchy, if enough people want more, and thats about 3-5 then I can edit it over, make it better, and then those 3 people can enjoy a better version.


My world was a cold one. With no happy memories, I soon became a lone wolf. Killing all who stood in my way, not because of hate or Bloodlust, but simply because the urge to kill was compelling. I had feelings, oh yes, I had feelings indeed. But I chose to shut them away, depressing as they were. I could not bring up a memory without the pain of it shocking me into an unbidden silence that I could not escape for fear of losing control and howling in unbidden agony of my loneliness. I attached every fiber of my living to the instincts I had been born with, the need to eat, drink, sustain my strength. I became known as the Silent Dawn by the wolves that saw me. I was a trechary to them, yet they respected me for my swift and cunning. But I did not care. My only love was the mountains in which I lived under, the icy world that I had come to hate, only to love. I was a robotic wolf. Everything I did was instinctual, every move not my will. The real me was receded within the dark confines of my mind, and even there I could do little to escape life. The memories were like a broken record, playing over and over again. Over and over, I saw my brother, my only friend, slowly freeze to death in an attempt to keep me warm, weakened by the deer that had broken his shoulder when he had tried to kill it to get me a meal, the slow effect of the fever that raged inside him…..he had done it all for me. His little sister. His light. I felt a stab of hate, guilt, and sadness pierce me everytime I saw him in my mind. The broken record repeated, shredding my heart into a million shreds. All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put me back together again.

I wandered the land aimlessly, unconsciously making charts of it in my head. Everything I knew was pain. The pain of hunger. The pain of ice and snow. The pain of the biting wind on my face. Pain pain pain. Sometime in my dizzied frenzy, I woke up. I woke up and saw light. Brilliant glorious light.

Suddenly I lived again. I could taste the cool mountain water, feel the cool touch of the rocks, the gentle caress of the wind that swept through my fur, rejuvenating me as I woke at the pale light of dawn to hunt. When I killed, I killed for the joy of the fight, and usually let the wolves live instead of slaughtering them in cold blood, disliking the taste of the salty blood as much as I disliked tainted water. I felt penitence for the lives I had taken, the lives that had been lost because of me. And suddenly, I saw why I had been killing. What I had taken for instinct was actually a cause of my depression. I wanted others to suffer the pain I had endured, wanted to shove a piece of my misery onto someone else. I wandered no more, but explored the vast range of the mountains. I was never scared, no matter how bad the situation I was in got. Wolves noticed me less and less, and I soon became unknown as a wisp in the wind.

One day, I remember it quite clearly, I wandered upon a small pack of wolves, who led me on a wild chase through the forest. I was in a killing mood, a mood of misery, that I needed to make others feel the sorrow I could not always keep inside me. I let loose a long howl of Bloodlust and charged after them, my teeth bared, my white fur flashing through the forest. I didn't like it in the forest, it was too enclosed…like I was in a cage. Somewhere in that vast forest, I managed to get my teeth in a wolf pup that they had brought out for hunting lessons. I ripped and tore, hearing the yelps of the pup below me, tasting the salty taste of blood and hearing the crunch of bones under my teeth being snapped in half. I felt a wolf slam into me, knocking me away from the pup. I snapped my teeth at the wolf, ripping into its shoulder, but to no avail. It pinned me down and cuffed me on the side of the head. Black spots broke through my vision and I saw no more.

The forest pack kept me prisoner, not caring to give me water or food, and I succumbed into madness, thinking I would never see the beautiful light of the mountains again. While I drifted out of hazy visions and reality, I dreamed of my home. The beautiful majesty of the mountains, the feel of rocks under my pads, the taste of the water. I didn't know how long I had been imprisoned. Days, weeks, months. Maybe even years. I developed a raging fever. Somewhere in the depths of my mind, I plotted and seeded revenge, building a fiery rage with hate and pain, bloodlust and weakness. I built up my intellect, and devised plans that were fool proof. Then something very odd happened. The wolves began feeding me. They began nurturing me back to health. I let them, figuring this would help me kill them in them in the end. I acted kindly, not letting anything slip about my plans for their destruction.

One day, they led me out into an open field, their pack on my flanks. My vision was hazy, and I did not see the pack that awaited me. They too had a wolf up in front. Slowly, the two packs melted into a ring around us. The wolf in front of me was pitch black, and nearly as mad as me by the looks of it. Its eyes glowed red like embers. What did they want me to do? Realization hit me. They wanted us to fight. Fight to the death. This was wrong. Why would wolves fight wolves? It didn't make sense. But still, the thought of sinking my teeth into another wolves flesh sounded very satisfying at the moment. Bloodlust hit me and all else was forgotten, pushed away. When I won, they would see the true terror of my wrath, and they would know. They would know that I was not a force to be reckoned with. The pale silhouette of the kind wolf I had almost become had now vanished in the winds of the coming storm.

I snarled as the wolf in front of me bristled and leaped. I leaped aside lightly, then grabbed the wolf by its scruff and pinned it down, biting down on its throat. Blood bubbled up underneath my teeth, and I felt the wolf thrash below me. My vision tinged red with Bloodlust. It was almost too easy. 5 wolves lay around the small ring, blood spattered the ground. I was now truly, deeply mad with hate. My time was close…. "its over, take her home!" I heard one wolf snarl, fear thick in his voice. I snarled in amused laughter. "Youll never contain me!" I howled, and leapt for the wolf, only to be dragged back down by unknown wolves. I growled and thrashed, My vision tingeing red from rage. A feral snarl ripped from my bared fangs and I twisted around, my neck fur ripping, and tore the wolf below me to shreds, reveling in his shrieks of agony as I tore him piece by piece, blood spattering everywhere and dying my fur red. Somewhere in my frenzy, a wolf managed to hew a rock at my head, and my vision went black.

I was lead back inside my prison by two burly, muscular black wolves. They watched me with close eyes, wary. I could tell they were trying to hide their fear. Upon reaching my cave, I was grabbed by the scruff and thrown roughly in. My head struck a rock and I lay, dazed momentarily, as a large boulder was slid over the entrance of my prison and I was enveloped in blackness. Suddenly feeling exhausted, I slumped into the marshy floor and fell asleep.

"wake up!" Someone was calling to me. I bared my fangs slightly, letting a light growl slip through. "Oh come now, even you cant be in a bad mood after what you won us!" My eyelids fluttered, and I looked up to see a pale, sandy wolf with a light mask of white standing in front of me. "waddyuwan?" I grumbled, rubbing my head into the ground. "I came here to talk! You got us so much!" The wolf looked happy And honestly glad to see me. "Don wanna talk, go away.." I murmured, and put my paw over my head. I felt something cool touch my forehead. "Oh wow. Your burning up.!!" He gasped, and I heard light thuds as the wolf ran off. I fell back into the dreamless void of sleep.

"-and I walked in and she was Burning up!" A familiar voice sounded. It seemed far away….The floor below me was cool and smooth. "mmmm" I murmured, rubbing into it, relishing in the cool feeling. "Shes awake." Said a deeper, more dominant voice. This one sounded nearer. My head snapped up as I recognized the voice of the alpha. "Well now.." He said, narrowing his eyes at me. "Even a rogue knows when an alpha is speaking." I put my head back down, exhausted by the effort and too weak to argue with what he was saying. He was right, I was a rogue, and I did recognize his dominant voice and pungent scent. My vision blurred, and I began shivering even though it had to be more than 80 suns out. "Get the herbs." Said the alpha calmly, fixing his eyes on the pale wolf from earlier."yes sir." He said, bowing his head, and dashed off.

I groaned and opened my eyes. I was momentarily blinded by the rush of light from the entrance of the den. The sweet scent of flowers and crushed plants wreathed around me.

"Wuzzgoinon?" I asked groggily. Sudden bloodlust hit me. Two wolves sat in front of the den, talking to each other in lowered voices.

"-she pretty ferocious, she is. Wolves say they seen 'er slinking around the territory when everyone thinks shes contained inside her den." He shook his massive head. The other one, slightly smaller but just as burly, twitced his tail tip. "I bet I could beat her."

I chose this time to reveal myself.

"If your so keen," I said smoothly, "Im right here." Both wolves turned so abruptly they tripped over their tail and tumbled into the dusty ground. I snickered. "Well?" I said, my voice turning icy. 'Fine." Said the wolf boldly. "The pack doesn't need a scrap like you bringing it down." He let out a snarl and slinked towards me, waiting for a distraction to use against me, and protecting himself at the same time.

"Tactful" I commented. "But I like this better!" The words were barely out of my mouth before the wolf leaped at me. He had me pinned in seconds.

"Remember the pup you killed?" He whispered, his breath ruffling my ear fur. "he was my brother. This is for him"

I felt teeth sink into my throat, and I gasped in pain, but no air came. I thrashed, and he sniggered through my throat fur.

"WHATS GOING ON!" A deep, angry bark sonded from behind my attacker. My eyes lolled uselessly into the back of my head. "Aerlo, what are you doing!" Aerlo turned, and I felt his teeth slide out of my throat. He scuffed the ground with his paws. "well..-"

"Why would you attack our prisoner!' he cried, baring his teeth in frustration. Aerlo rolled over on his belly, showing that he was not in charge. "Im sorry Adder." He whined. "I acted foolishly."

"Yes!" snarled Adder. "You did! As punishment you are going to be kept prisoner with her until I think you have learned enough not to defy orders! Forlan! Throw Aerlo in with her!" Forlan, the bigger wolf who had ceased to talk, reluctantly picked up Aerlo by the scruff, murmering a muffled 'sorry' before throwing Aerlo in with me.

I awoke sometime in the night, not remembering when I had dozed off. Aerlo lay huddled next to me, shivering. "geroff me.." I grumbled shoving him away. I felt the sticky feeling of herbs on my throat where someone had bandaged my wound. "The stars…" Aero whimpered. "Icant see the stars." He started to shiver more than ever. I remembered my first days here, when I had remembered the mountains. I noticed that the boulder had been slid back over the entrance. "The stars.." I said.. "You can see the stars." I said suddenly, feeling sudden pity for the wolf that had almost killed me.

"No!" He wailed. "The stars are gone forever! I shall never see them again!" He howled in agony while I waited. "Look with your heart." I said softly, suddenly picturing the mountains. Aerlo howling, which had ceased to a soft whimpering, suddenly quieted as he thought of his beloved stars. "yes" He murmured. "I can see the stars." His eyelids fluttered as he was finally able to fall into a peaceful sleep.

When I had dozed off, I could not recount, but I could sense the heat rolling off a corner of the cave, where Aerlo still slept. I could get revenge. I could kill him now, and smother the blood on the wolf that came to feed us, point the bame on him. I could kill them one by one, and by the time Adder finally realized what was going on, it would be too late. No. They would see the blood on my muzzle. They would know. Frustration filled me. When would they release me?! Now that my fever was gone, I began to count how long I had been here.

From the time I had been captured, up to the fight…..that was about a month. From then to here, was another month, plus a week.

Two months and a week.

Two moths and a week, I had been separated from my mountain home.

Would this ever end?


End file.
